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Melancholy...
Thursday, December 31, 2009 @12:47 AM

another day had just passed.practically the same shit on a different day.are we born to this world to face more problems or what? lol life is full of shit. everytime when you solve a problem another will arise.there's no end to problems and no end to misery.it's stupid; I have no other better word to describe life but it's just stupid. leaders and politicians of the way always stress on the importance of equality between their nation or organisations etc but the fact that there will never be equality in this world. the rich will still be rich and the poor still poor.nothing ever changes.does it? lol. I'm so sick and tired of seeing people that don't derserve a good life cause they never did anything to achieve what they have today and they act like they deserve it with their own effort.the world is never fair.the good will never beget good and the bad will never beget bad.it's just life.well well what to do? I'm not being a pessimist but I'm being a realist.it's just the harsh facts of life.some people struggle and work so hard but get a measly pay or their superiors have the mentality 'oh this is what you have to do so I won't actually appreciate it'. it's stupid, the whole system of meritocracy. this systems works only in the past and will happen this era. work and and you will reap what you sow? eat my shit man.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009 @1:59 AM

哪裡有彩虹告訴我
能不能把我的願望還給我
為什麼天這麼安靜
所有的雲都跑到我這裡
有沒有口罩一個給我
釋懷說了太多就成真不了
也許時間是一種解藥; 也是我現在正服下的毒藥
看不見你的笑 我怎麼睡得著
你的聲音這麼近我卻抱不到
沒有地球太陽還是會繞
沒有理由我也能自己走
你要離開 我知道很簡單
你說依賴 是我們的阻礙
就算放開 但能不能別沒收我的愛
當作我最後才明白


如果能讓我重新再來一次; 我希望我不曾出現在你的生命裡

Sunday, December 20, 2009 @1:44 AM

a few questions that I need to know
how you could ever hurt me so
i need to know what I've done wrong
and how long it's been going on
was it that i never paid enough attention
or did I not give enough affection
not only will your answers keep me sane
but I'll know never to make the same mistake again
you can tell me to my face
or even on the phone,
you can write it in a letter
either way I have to know
did I never treat you right
did I always start the fight
either way I'm going out of my mind
all the answers to my questions I have to find

my head's spinning
girl I'm in a daze
i feel isolated
don't wanna communicate
i take a shower
i will scour; i will run
find peace of mind
the happy mind; i once owned, yeah
flexing vocabulary runs right through me
the alphabet runs right from A to Z
conversations, hesitations in my mind
you got my conscience asking questions that I can't find
i'm not crazy
i'm sure I ain't done nothing wrong, no
i'm just waiting,
cause I heard that this feeling won't last that long

never ever have I ever felt so low
when you gonna take me out of this black hole
never ever have I ever felt so sad
the way I'm feeling yeah you got me feeling really bad
never ever have I had to find
i've had to dig away to find my own peace of mind
i've never ever had my conscience to fight
the way I'm feeling yeah it just don't feel right

i'll keep searching
deep within my soul
for all the answers
don't wanna hurt no more
i need peace gotta feel at ease
need to be free from pain
going insane
my heart aches yeah

you can tell me to my face
or even on the phone
you can write it in a letter babe
cause I really need to know



never ever; never ever.


Thursday, December 10, 2009 @1:01 AM

This whole subject is incredibly complex, possibly the most complex of all processes performed by the human body and it starts in the womb; It has been shown that flavours can be passed from mother to baby through the amniotic fluid as early as 11 weeks (six months before birth); By the time that we are born into the world, we have already experienced many of the flavours from our mothers diet.
The process of taste aroma and flavour perception is being researched around the world. Knowledge gained from this research has far-reaching implications, be it detecting disease by smell or re-kindling the faded palate of an elderly person.
Eating is a multi-modal process (involving all the senses). Any comments concerning food being just about taste are misguided. Try drinking a fine wine from a polystyrene cup or eating a beautifully cooked piece of fish off a paper plate with a plastic knife and fork, it is not the same.
Both physiological and psychological factors come into play and in many cases, they cannot be separated. Take-for example- a fine wine drunk from a polystyrene cup; the shape of the cup will affect the perceived smell and flavour of the wine (physiological) and the material will affect the feel of the cup in the hand and on the lips (psychological).Taste is one of the six senses (some say we have more), the others being touch, sound, sight, smell and proprioception, (the sense of "ourselves") our bodies own on-board computer.
The sense of taste can then be broken down into five basic categories. All of which happen in the mouth and nowhere else. These categories are salt, sweet, sour, bitter and Umami (the most recently identified taste named by Ikeda in Japan in 1908). There is a current theory that fat is actually a taste but this has yet to be proved.
We have up to 10,000 taste buds on the tongue and in the mouth. These regenerate so that the receptors that we use today will not be the same as were used a couple of days ago. Although different parts of the tongue can register different tastes, the classic drawing of the tongue showing it divided into different sections for the four different tastes (there were only four known at the time of this 19th century illustration) is totally wrong.
The aroma-or what we sometimes call flavour-is registered in the olfactory epithelium situated between the eyes at the front of the brain. It contains hundreds of receptors that register aroma molecules contained in everything that we eat and smell.
There is a simple but effective and enjoyable way of demonstrating what most of us don't realise; Smell and taste-are registered in different parts of the head. Have ready some table salt and biscuits, fruit or in fact, anything easy to eat. Squeeze your nostrils tightly enough to prevent breathing through them but obviously not too tight to hurt. Take a good bite of biscuit or fruit and start chomping, making sure that the nostrils remain clenched.
You will notice that it is impossible to perceive the flavour or aroma of the food being eaten.
Now, with nostrils still squeezed and food still in the mouth, lick some salt. Although it was impossible to detect the flavour of the food that was being eaten with clenched nostrils, the taste of the salt is unhindered.
Finally, let go of your nostrils and notice the flavour of the food come rushing into your headspace.
When we eat, taste buds on our tongue and in our mouths pick up only taste but no flavour. The molecules in food that provide flavour (known as odour or aroma molecules) pass up into the olfactory bulb where the flavour of the food is registered.
When the nostrils are squeezed however, the air supply passing through the olfactory bulb is cut off, preventing us from registering flavour.
As if this wasn’t enough, the brain has to process information given to it by the other senses and sometimes, things can be not quite what they seem.
Here are just a few examples of the senses influence on determining what we taste and our emotional response to it.

1) A few years ago at a Sommelier school in France, trainee wine waiters were put through a routine wine tasting until-unknown to them- a white wine that they had just tasted had been dyed red with a non flavoured food dye and brought back out to taste and evaluate. Something very interesting happened. They all made notes on the assumption that the wine was what it looked like; red. In this case, the eyes totally influenced flavour perception.

2) True or false; chewing gum loses its flavour after a certain period of time? True, but not as quickly as we might think. Basically, what happens is that when we chew, the sweetening agent in the gum gradually dissolves in the mouth and is then swallowed, reducing its sweetness. We grow up with the association of menthol and mint with sweet taste every day when we brush our teeth.
The brain tracks the sweetness and as this reduces so too does the perception of the mint and menthol flavours. In reality however, it has been proven that these aromas are still in our headspace for several hours.


Another example of this is to make a cup of coffee with one ground bean; it will be most insipid. Now take the coffee bean whole and pop it into your mouth. Crunch it several times and then knock back the cup of water. The same amount of coffee and water when served like this will provide a far greater burst of coffee that will last in the mouth.
In fact, it is this principle that was the catalyst for the much publicised bacon and egg ice cream. The idea with this dessert was not to create a dessert that was based on breakfast but to play with the whole concept of encapsulation.
Eggs thicken ice cream custard because the proteins in the egg coil up and thicken the mix when subjected to heat. Like the coffee bean, the coiled up proteins are now in an encapsulated form and can have a tendency to make the resulting ice cream taste of egg by supplying bursts of egg flavour.

3) only two types of odour are intrinsically repellent and although I don't think that it is appropriate to talk about these in a food guide, many smells that we think would be repulsive can actually be perceived as being pleasurable if their context is changed. For example, the smell of old socks has been shown to be pleasurable when introduced as Parmesan cheese!
Context is so important. What about a wonderful bottle of chilled Muscadet, sipped by the banks of the Loire on holiday in sunny France, tucking into a platter of plump fresh oysters? The same wine brought back to England just doesn’t taste the same.
Context can be created by the most simple of things. The description of a dish on its own can create all sorts of problems and indeed.
The dish was a crab risotto served with crab ice cream. Described as crab ice cream, this dish presented a barrier to the diner. Let’s face it; ice cream has to be sweet doesn’t it? Well, no, it doesn’t and indeed didn’t used to be. Savoury ices were popular in Victorian times but have long since fallen out of fashion. The same ice cream however, described as frozen crab bisque, presented no barrier, as the term ice cream had been removed.

4)Sound can also play an important role in the perception of texture-a valuable part of the whole taste process. The perception of the crispness of a food can be modified by playing with volume and pitch.
In a test carried out by an experimental psychologist at Oxford University. Crisps from the same packet, eaten with the sound of the testers own crunch being fed back to them in real time changed when the volume or pitch were altered.

Whilst it is not possible to create a crunchy banana, a less than crunchy apple can be made to be crunchier and even perceptively fresher by modifying the sound of the crunch, listened to in real time and popping candy? When listening to the amplified, pitch modified sound of popping candy running riot in the mouth, one cannot help grinning like a Cheshire cat!

5) Our likes and dislikes are forged by memories. I use this word loosely as we could say that we also have a genetic memory.
For example, we are designed to like fat. It is the learned association of fat with poor health and obesity that prevents us, or rather some of us from liking fatty foods.
The senses act as warning systems, taste being the last of the sensory barriers and bitterness, the last of the taste barriers. It can prevent us from eating foods that could be harmful and although we might be genetically pre-disposed to liking or needing certain tastes, it appears that we have the ability to be able to modify these wants or needs. For example, we grow to like bitter foods; tea, coffee and beer are generally not acceptable until we reach a certain age.

Smell is the most powerful memory trigger of all of the senses but we differ so greatly in what smells hit the right or wrong notes. As well as our own emotions differing greatly from person to person, we all live in our own sensory world. I know that this might seem a little spiritual but we do see, hear and smell things differently.
It was-up until quite recently-considered that we had around three hundred receptors that between them were responsible for registering all aroma molecules on earth. It is now thought that we have some four hundred but only use about three hundred of them. We do not all use the same receptors and therefore register flavour molecules differently. Two people tasting the same banana will not necessarily register the same flavour. The same goes for sight and sound.
As if this whole process was not complicated enough, the olfactory system is ipsilateral; that is to say the left side sends signals to the left side of the brain and right to the right. So what relevance does this have to the way that we perceive flavour? Well, the answer is quite a bit actually. The left side of the brain controls speech and the right side controls emotion. It was and in some cases still is thought that flavours presented to the left nostril would be easier to identify and describe whilst flavours presented to the right could elicit a more emotional response.
Whilst this argument does seem to have some evidence to support it, it is by no means conclusive.
What seems to be far more relevant however is the fact that air does not flow through each nostril at the same volume. This asymmetrical difference changes every few hours. Have you ever noticed that when our nose is blocked, it seems to be more blocked in one nostril that the other?
The whole process of flavour perception is multi-sensory. We all have our own perception of life. Not only do we see, hear and taste differently but we have our own, individual personal experiences, emotion and memory. As long as this continues, the world of eating will be a very exciting place

At first, i thought cooking is just really cooking. Nothing more nor less. I first decided to go into this line is not really because i had the passion for cooking; it was more like i had no choice and i chose this line. I first started out with no goals and just try to slack my way through. Thinking that the job of being a 'Chef' was needed everywhere. Yes, that may be right but to a certain extend. Being a Chef and a good chef it's two different things. To be a good chef you have to understand your ingredient, your equipment; your worksmanship; and most importantly yourself. You need to have a cool head and hunger. A cool head cause you can't work with anger; cause with anger you would only produce rubbish. The hunger for learning because there is no end to learning in this line. I need this hunger and i need it real bad.

It was time that i realised this was going to be my career. It is no more a past-time or a back i plan. I have to do more than what i am doing; i have to push myself. Pushing myself ain't going to be an easy thing to do; it requires the physical strength and most importantly the mental strength. this whole passage has really inspired me to put my so-called 'passion' into cooking. Cooking ain't just cooking anymore. it involves a whole lot of things. So many things about cooking i don't know and so many thing i've gotta learn. It's gonna take a long time; a really long time for me to get to a stage where i dare stand in front of a mirror and call myself 'Chef'. For now i will pursue and give it my all in this line.


Ciao.

Friday, November 06, 2009 @1:46 AM

i've been alone with you inside my mind.
i long to see the sunlight in your hair
and tell you time and time again how much I care
sometimes i feel my heart will overflow
hello, I've just got to let you know
'cause I wonder where you are
and I wonder what you do
are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?
tell me how to win your heart
for I haven't got a clue
but let me start by saying, i love you.

you say hello, inside i'm screaming i love you
you say goodnight, in my mind i'm sleeping next to you.
you drive away from my car crash of a heart
and i don't know
you talk to him, and it burns me like the sun
you talk to her, and you say that you feel like he's the one
i talk to me, but you can't hear the pain I feel
you don't know.
don't turn around and say bye again
yeah, it crushes my head when you call me your friend
and i'm not the same person from back in the day
no, i can't find the words 'cause I lost them the minute
they fell out my mouth and it's love and I'm in it
and let's get messed up and listen to probably
the best mixtape I have
And even all the bad songs ain't so bad
i just wish there was so much more than that
about me and you

Sunday, October 25, 2009 @2:33 AM

on a cobweb afternoon 
in a room full of emptiness
by a freeway I confess
i was lost in the pages
of a book full of death
reading how we'll die alone
and if we're good we'll lay to rest
anywhere we want to go
and on my death bed I will pray
to the gods and the angels
like a pagan to anyone who will take me to heaven
to a place I recall
i was there so long ago
the sky was bruised
the wine was bled
and there you led me on
and on I read
till the day was gone
and I sat in regret
for all the things i've done
for all that i've blessed
and all that i've wronged
in dreams until my death
i will wander on
in your house I long to be
room by room; patiently
i'll wait for you there; like a stone
i'll wait for you there, alone; alone.
i could never see tomorrow
but i was never told about the sorrow
and how can you mend a broken heart?
how can you stop the rain from falling down?
how can you stop the sun from shining?
what makes the world go round?
how can you mend this broken man?
how can a loser ever win?
please help me mend my broken heart
and let me live again
i can still feel the breeze
that rustles through the trees
and misty memories of days gone by
we could never see tomorrow
no one said a word about the sorrow




when you go;would you even turn to say "I don't love you;like i did yesterday"


Thursday, October 01, 2009 @2:40 AM

i'm like chasing dreams i can never catch

the worst mistake anyone can make is being too afraid to make one

you can never lose, what you never had

the day you slipped away, was the day i thought we would never be the same

cause i was an option, never a priority

i lost everything 'cause of you; yet you lost nothing cause of me.

you know that i love u so, but i love you enough to let you go

cause he's everything, everything i'm not

who do you want to forget, who forgot you long ago?


alive; but not living. dead; but not departed

about him;

brian lin shixian, 21051990 acs junior,acs barker, SHATEC DCS 408B !
&theLOVES
dota,sports,cooking,slacking,stoning

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